Wishes
by Nairobi-Harper
Summary: Joy secretly longs to be human, though for now, these thoughts can only be considered wishes. One-shot.


**Author's note: Many months ago, I was reading the 'WMG' section for the movie 'Inside Out.' I found a theory that intrigued me. This theory was that Joy wishes to be the main character, Riley. After seeing the movie in theaters, and re-watching it, I don't see how this theory could be all that far off. At first, I thought of Joy as more of a motherly type to Riley, though then I realized that there's a possibility that this theory is true. I feel like perhaps it's a bit of both; maybe Joy wants to be Riley, though also sees herself as a motherly figure of her. Both theories seem to work very well. Anyway, back to what I had originally been talking about. Not long after I read this theory, a story called 'Outside In' was released. It's a great story, and an excellent read, so I suggest that, if you're reading this right now, you eventually get to reading it. Now that I've explained this all, I'll move onto the actual story.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the movie Inside Out.**

As night came to San Francisco and the emotions in twelve-year old Riley Andersen's mind began preparing for bed, Joy couldn't help though wonder what it would be like to be a human.

Thoughts such as these weren't exactly abnormal for Joy. In fact, she usually had at least one thought like this daily.

To Joy, both the idea and concept of being a human sounded fascinating. This was not the only reason why she secretly longed to become human. Having been an emotion for twelve years, she had, without doubt, seen enough from Riley's view to think of it as intriguing.

Joy had been having these thoughts for as long as she could remember. She believed that these thoughts began around the same time that Riley, whom she loved so dearly, was born. Joy remembered the day clearly and perfectly. At first, she had been so confused, though as years went by, she learned more about her life as an emotion.

It wasn't that being an emotion wasn't fun or interesting. No, Joy loved her job inside of Riley's mind nearly as much as she could. She knew that she did, otherwise she would've quit long ago, or snapped at the other emotions for never being as positive as her. It was just that perhaps she loved the idea of being a human with her own emotions a bit more.

Occasionally, while lying in her bed, Joy would wish that she weren't herself, only to backtrack that thought and remind herself that she was Riley Andersen's emotion.

'You're Riley Andersen's most positive and joyous emotion,' Joy would think. 'And that will never change, so stop thinking it will someday, because it won't!'

The majority of the time, her dreams would consist of going on the adventures that Riley had, though as a person. Sometimes, she would even have dreams in which she were Riley. If she simply dreamt about being a human, she would wake up, drink a glass of water, and remind herself that she was Riley's main emotion, and that being in her mind should be considered an honor. Whenever she had a dream in which she actually were Riley, her reaction was even worse. After these dreams, she would wake up, slap herself, and remind herself constantly that she loved Riley, and did what she thought was best for her.

'You can't do what you think is best for you, do what you think is best for _her_ ,' Joy would often think after these dreams. 'If you really were meant to be a person, you'd have been one at birth, wouldn't you?'

Just because she had these thoughts and dreams didn't mean that she felt no guilt for them. No matter what the situation, she always felt guilt for these certain fantasies, even if it were only the second after they had happened.

Ever since Riley's birth in which Joy first appeared, she had known that her job was never to be a human. Her job was to be an emotion; Riley Andersen's emotion. Whenever she had these thoughts, she was basically wishing not to be Riley's emotion anymore, and she loved Riley. No matter how much she longed to be just as human as Riley herself was, the joyous emotion knew that if she somehow did manage to become a human, she would've failed everyone. She would have failed Riley. The last thing that Joy ever wanted to do was fail Riley.

"Hey, Joy, are you okay?" a melancholic voice asked.

The glowing emotion turned around to see another emotion in Headquarters, Sadness. The two had quite the history together, with Joy having at first preferred to not have Sadness around because she wanted Riley to be joyous all the time, even going so far as to put Sadness in her own 'circle of Sadness.' However, since the former year, in which they had moved to Minnesota, and gone through much together, they were now good friends, which might explain why Sadness was the only emotion still standing there, waiting for Joy.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, just thinkin' 'bout some stuff, like, uh, how great our day was, and Riley's upcoming hockey tournament, y'know."

"Oh, good, cuz, at first, because of how your face looked and how you were just sitting there, I thought you were sad."

While the blue emotion still didn't completely believe that Joy was alright, she had a feeling that Joy might snap if she questioned any further. That, and she knew that Joy had Dream Duty, and would prefer not to disturb her.

"Thanks for the concern, Sadness, but I'm just fine. Just a little… tired, I suppose."

'Yeah, Joy, that was the perfect lie!' Joy thought enthusiastically.

"Well, whatever you said Joy. I'm going off to bed. Night, Joy."

"Goodnight, Sadness!" Joy called.

The stubby emotion walked into her bedroom, closing the door behind her.

Once Joy was positive that Sadness was gone and everyone was sleeping (which, considering that this was Joy, took few seconds to decide,) she finally looked back at the screen, in which Riley was having a wonderful dream about winning tomorrow's hockey tournament.

Joy smiled at the screen, pleased to see that Riley was having a joyful dream in which they were winning, and not sad, as some of her recent dreams the past year had been. It wasn't that Joy disliked Sadness; no, if the title didn't already belong to Fear somewhat, they could be considered best friends. It was just that, unless they had lost, which she hoped they wouldn't, she didn't see the reason why Riley should feel sad about the tournament.

The beaming emotion rested her head on her right hand.

"You did it, Riley," she whispered, though she understood that the true results wouldn't be revealed until the next day.

It took her all of her strength and courage not to say 'I' or 'we.' Joy knew that while she, as an emotion, truly had nothing to do with this dream, that it couldn't stop her from imagining that she herself had won the hockey tournament.

'I wonder what hockey's like to play as a human,' Joy thought sadly, eyes cast downward at the controls. 'To actually feel the helmet, the hockey stick, the puck… oh, my life is never going to be like that. It's been twelve years. I obliviously love Riley too much to take over her body, or even go out of her mind, if it's been more than a decade. I'm always going to be an emotion. _Riley's_ emotion. I just have to learn to accept that. It might take some time, but, I'll learn.'

And perhaps, someday she would learn to accept that she was Riley Andersen's emotion, and there was nothing to do about that.

For now, though, she'd just have to sit there, truthfully a bit miserable, and wonder. That was all she could ever do when she thought about actually being a human. Wonder.

And without doubt, that would probably be the way things would always be.

INSIDEOUTINSIDEOUTINSIDEOUTINSIDEOUTINSIDEOUTINSIDEOUTINSIDEOUTINSIDEOUTINSIDEOUTINSIDEOUT

I apologize for taking so long to upload this story! I'll be updating two of my other stories hopefully today, and once I've finished those, probably by the sixteenth of this month, I'll move onto writing more stories for this fandom! Thanks if you read, and even more thanks if you favorited/followed/reviewed! As a first-time writer of this fandom, I appreciate any support that I can get, and if you give me a review, I'll review your story, too!


End file.
